I rest my head. Between the bed and sky, download my dread, disarm my mind. Nothing in motion, and I'm satisfied. No disappointment, until I wake up. Don't want to wake up!!!!

List 10 songs that begin with the letter given to you and explain why you picked them. Comment and I shall give you a letter. - from kazimierzi with "C".

 

Okay so this I copied from my BFF (Weixin) her LJ. And I SO wanted to fill it out hahaha
I love doing things like this, it's fun to do <3
So here you are girly. And you better copy it to so you fill it out next!


01. Your Middle Name: Chia (if i got it right, if not.... TO BAAAADDD XD )
02. Age: 2ne1
03. Single or Taken: SINGLE, and you have to be freaking awesome to change that!
04. Favorite Movie: My fair lady
05. Favorite Song or Album: at the moment I totally love Big bang – my heaven
06. Favorite Band/Artist: Kat-tun, Ayumi hamasaki
07. Dirty or Clean: CLEAN
08. Tattoos and/or Piercings: does the piercings in my ear count if yes then 2
09. Do we know each other outside of LJ? Hell YA!!!!
10. What's your philosophy on life? Do whatever you want, but never lose yourself doing it!
11. Is the bottle half-full or half-empty? Right now it's empty
12. Would you keep a secret from me if you thought it was in my best interest? No, I would tell you everything. And when there needs to be support I will be there!
13. What is your favorite memory of us? The day that we are going to meet IRL
14. What is your favorite guilty pleasure? I can be twisted minded
15. Tell me one odd/interesting fact about you: that I love old movies >.<
16. You can have three wishes (for yourself, so forget all the 'world peace etc' malarky) - what are they? 1) Marry Jin, 2) make my best friends and family and sister happy 3) That I always will be happy
17. Can we get together and make a cake? Totally!
18. Which country is your spiritual home? Taiwan
19. What is your big weakness? My big weakness you say....... chocolate and cupcakes XD
20. Do you think I'm a good person? Well evil minded, twisted, dark but yeah I think you are xD
21. What was your best/favorite subject at school? English!
22. Describe your accent, I've been told that I have a bit of British and Spanish accent.
23. If you could change anything about me, would you? No, you are my best friend because you are who you are!
24. What do you wear to sleep? Oversized shirt
25. Trousers or skirts? Trousers, although I would also wear skirts but only to make boy's jaw drop xD
26. Cigarettes or alcohol? None, don't like alcohol and I don't smoke ^3^
27. If I only had one day to live, what would we do together? (If you have no idea, just say something crazy, it'll entertain me!) GO OUT SHOPPING!!!!!!!!!!!!!
28. Will you repost this so I can fill it out for you? YES, DO IT!!! * __ *

So I basically just copied this from my BFF but i've been wanting to do this to, but she just beat me to it. Since we are both a MAJOR fan of CTKT here goes ^^

1.) Who do you want for your best friend?
Nakamaru, it seems to me that he is a really good listener. And he will give you advise and really be there for you when you need him.

2.) Who do you want as a brother?
Koki, why? Because he can kick asses of the guys that broke my heart. Hahaha, besides that he also seems the guy that is really protective and caring for family ^^

3.) Who do you want as a pet?
I have to go with Taguchi, I don't know why actually O 3O

4.) Who do you want as a lover/boyfriend?
Ueda, he seems to be really the type what a girl can look for. He seems caring and totally absolutly loveable >.<

5.) Who do you want as a husband?
Jin, he seems to be somewhat cold on the outside but i'm sure that he would be a very good husband and a great daddy >.<

6.) Who do you want as a cousin?
Kamenashi, I would totally love to have him as my cousin and show him off to my friends hahaha. And totally brag that it's my cousing, plus he can kick some butts together with Koki XD

Don't you wish that sometimes things could be different? That you could chose your family, have enough money to make your friends happy. Or just be someone else then the person you are today?

I know for sure that I have. I have had this though so many times that I lost count.

But you know that sometimes the life you have now is actually everything you just need. The feeling of being alive making your own decisions is just what makes you the person you are now.

And if you go for the dream you had, or want to have. We only look at the good things in life, but we shouldn't forget that life doesn't always give us anything for granted, you have to earn it. You have to prove to yourself to anyone out that there that you can make it. That you can make your dream come true.

It's hard, life isn't fair. But we sometimes we all want the easy way out. With me I always want the best for my friends, my best friends and most important my sister. She means a lot to me. And I know her really well. I feel bad when she is sad, I want to help her with everything. Although sometimes we fight we always have fun. She is very dear to me, but so are two other people in my life. They are really awesome, my soul sister and my little sister W.

I want to make them happy, I want to be there for them when they need me. Give them adivise when they need some. And smack them in the head for doing something stupid, although most of the time we just have fun.

As I am here right now, writing this and listening to piano music to calm myself, I feel myself wondering with my thoughts. How it would be if my life was different, if I was able to actually make all my own decisions. I know that I can right now, but there will always the pull of your parents glooming over you. They have a hold over all of us that you can't feel or imagine until you are a parent yourself. They always somehow always find a way to push the buttons on your system, to either make you feel guilty or just to make you so mad that you just want to shoot them. They will influence you in any way they can. The things they do, the example they give you of how they life. And you know what, we all say “I will never be like you when I am a mother/father” but sometimes we can't help but turning into them. I just really hope that I will be different then my parents.

But I can say all of that now, but I just have to wait what the future might bring. What I do know is that I will always have the support of my best friends and my little sister W and my blood related sister. They will always have my back no matter what.

I LOVE YOU GUY'S!

As I'm sitting here in front of my computer typing this. I wonder what people all will say or think when they read this. Are they happy, mad or even sad. Or
even get offended of what I write. But you know what? I DON'T FREAKING
CARE!!!!!!!!!! This is my blog I write what I want. People can read it, but this are just things from my point of view. Things that I think are wrong or wright. You either like it, and you want to read it. Fine go ahead. But if you don't than just stop reading and take a HIKE!

Now I didn't start to write this blog just to yell, well maybe a little bit cause it's fun from time to time.

Anyways moving on.

My point in this blog is that I just wanted to let out my feelings and seeing on things. As everyone know life can beat you up, take you on a roller coaster ride. Life likes to do that, it likes to dare you. But sometimes a dare of life is just to much to take. It can leave damages beyond repair!

For example when you fall in love. Don't you think that your life is just complete. When you think you found the other part of you. Your soul mate. Don't you want to be happy with him, doesn't it give you the feeling to be with him your whole life, that you lose focus. That you can't separate fantasy from reality? Or that you try to please other people by telling what they want to hear. Because they are to afraid to hear to truth. I think when someone is doing that, they are stupid! They shouldn't tell people what they want to hear. You might be that kind and gentle, but there are other people out that aren't like that. They can be harsh and tell them what they DON'T want to hear. And besides if you tell people what they want to
hear, you are not really you. You are just pretending to be someone else. Trust me I've been there and it's not a good feeling, slowly bit by bit you are losing yourself. You don't know what to do, or what to say, since you never really have been you. How can people love and trust you when you are trying to be someone who you really aren't? If that is the case than don't be surprised when people will say goodbye after a while.

It's something that Walter Anderson said. And I quote :

Our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and most difficult risk we can take is to be honest with ourselves.

The first thing to move forward or improve ourselves is to be honest with
ourselves. You can't be someone who you are not. Yes, sometimes we hide
behind a mask. But there are people that can see right through it and become one of your closest friend. But if you think that it's simply. Boy than you are in for a ride. Even though when the masks come off, there is still things you need to do.

Work on your friendship. When you feel that your friendship is just a empty
shell or that you are just the one that tries to stay in contact or whenever you feel that they somehow are slipping away let it slip away. Don't go chasing it, if they are not willing to fight for the friendship that you have than they just don't deserve you. Joseph Roxx said:

“We
call that person who has lost his father; an orphan; and a widower that
man who has lost his wife. But that man who has known the immense
unhappiness of losing a friend, by what name do we call him? Here every
language is silent and holds it's peace in impotence.”

We see that no language here on each has a word to even try to explain how
hard it is when you lose a friend. But there isn't anything that can
prevent it from happening either. This reminded me of what George W said:

“Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well
tried before you give them your confidence. True friendship is a plant
of slow growth, and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity
before it is entitled to the appellation.”

When you feel that you want to say something to your so called friends do
it. We all have the courage to do it! We just have to find that courage.

Let me let you guy's in on how I do it. When I have to do something like that I use the anger that I have inside of me. We all have anger inside of us, we all have things that drive us to do things like that. Find that and get a hold of it and just DO IT! Use the anger..... I almost wanted to say “use the force” there.... wait I just did... crap.....

Anyways, if you kinda think about it we all have forces in us. Just like we have
starts in us that make us shine. We all shine in our own way, we all have something that is unique and no one can take that away from us. When there is something that isn't right, you have to get rid of it before it will pull you down completely and suck you in. Even if you have to be a bitch and yell at him or play a diva, so what?! Sometimes people have to have a wake up call before they realize what
is going on. Some are super slow or just super stubborn. Trust me I know. But it's how you feel, no one can change how you feel about things. And if they can't handle the truth or they can't accept how you feel than to bad for them. True friends will understand that they were in the wrong, or they see where you are coming but. But if they don't, they can just take a express ticket out of your life!

Plautus himself said:

“Nothing but heaven itself is better than a friend who is really a friend”

And when they do realize that they weren't that good of a good friend to you, and if you can forgive them. That makes you a weakling? In fact it can make you a winner. Or the stronger party. Cause for myself I don't forgive them that easy but I do realize we all make mistakes in our lives. As long as they can accept the fact what they did and if they are willing to have talked to you about it and to try and work it out. That is a sign of forgiving and being stronger than them.Trust
in friendship, family is everything. When that bond is shattered or broken in some way it might be hard to fix. We all go through things we all wished we weren't placed in. Those are hard times. Difficult times, but you only come out stronger and with your head up high! No matter what happens. Everything that happened until now made you who you are. Cause for me, everything I'm not made me who I am now! Even when you have a broken heart you are not alone on it. No matter how long it takes to heal, you'll never get through it without your friends. Go
after what you want! And if it doesn't want you back then so be it. It doesn't deserve you anyways. But the most important thing in life is your family. There are days you love them, and others you don't, but in the end they're the people you
always come home to. Sometimes it's the family you're born into and sometimes it's the one you make for yourself.

But now I have a question for you all. Last night, I was thinking about men, and women and relationships. Or more to the point, how women feel when men disappoint them in relationships. Then a radical, almost earth-shattering thought popped into my head. What if everything isn't the man's fault? After a certain age, and a certain number of relationships; if it still isn't working and the ex's seem to be moving on and we don't, perhaps the problem isn't the last boyfriend, or the
one before him, or even the one before him! Could it be, that the problem isn't them, but horror of horrors - is it us? Or maybe it's just me thinking to much about the mistakes that we make. Maybe our mistakes are what make our fate. Without them, what would shape our lives? Perhaps if we never veered off course, we wouldn't fall in love, or have babies, or be who we are. After all, seasons change. So do cities. People come into your life and people go. But it's comforting to know the ones you love are always in your heart. And if you're very lucky, a plane ride away. But now that I think about it. Relationships, there are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most
exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous.

But the bottom line is I am nowhere near perfect, I eat when I am bored. I fall for boy's easily, I'm vulnerable to believing lies. I'm hoping that one day I won't need a fake smile. I live by quotes that explain exactly what I am going through. I make up excuses for everything. I have best friends and enemies, I have drama and memories. But that's life, live it, love it.. learn from it!

And one more thing you can spend minutes, hours, day's, or even months
over-analyzing a situation. Trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could've, would've happened. Or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move the fuck on!

Peace out!

Lc